Day Eight

No Change in medication

It seems increasingly unlikely that I am going to come off any of my remaining medication: I don’t want to take any risks. I can’t have another manic episode. I just don’t have it in me.

The meds don’t completely eradicate my depression. They take the edge off everything. They make life bearable. They keep my extreme emotions in check.

Coming off the anti-psychotic has been okay. Feeling has increased, but not to an extent I can’t cope with. I feel better because I have a bit more energy mentally and psychically. That said, I’ve actually been feeling quite poorly the last week and haven’t done much of anything except read and watch TV. That has thrown me back on myself and some memories about stuff I really haven’t thought about in years came up for me. This hasn’t been exactly easy, but I feel back to the new normal today. Old normal being how I used to feel before, when I lived in London, and had not let go of my insane family. Some of these memories I’ve being contending with related to that time.

I don’t think this regression was about the lack of my meds. It was because I’ve had little contact with anyone and have not attended to my usual routines. It was odd though, a bit like entering a dream landscape. A timeless zone.

I’m wondering how I can keep up this blog now that I’ve come off all the meds I’m going to stop. Maybe I’ll just change the theme. I’m not sure. If you have any suggestions I’d be happy to hear them in comments.

Published by unipolar2

I’m a writer living in Wales

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