Pure OCD

Not quite sure why I’m feeling down today. By rights, I should be feeling quite good; I just spent £550 on new clothes. Basic stuff I needed: underwear, bras, trousers, tee-shirts. I bought two pairs of SuperGa classic canvas shoes for the winter. I still need some wellies and walking boots and a waterproof jacket,Continue reading “Pure OCD”

What Happened on Thursday? (Part 2)

I’ve handed today’s post over to the resonance of the universe because I’m still ‘on overwhelm’. A subtitle to this post could be: Is this a blog? I’m full of questions at the moment. Another statement that de-overwhelms me is: My name is Ruth, I’m an alcoholic, and I haven’t had a drink today. WhenContinue reading “What Happened on Thursday? (Part 2)”

Bad Angels

I fell like absolute crap today. I’ve done everything I can to help myself: been for a walk, eaten, prayed and mediated, called a couple of friends (who weren’t available), asked for support with an issue I’m struggling with. So then I realised that the one thing I haven’t done is written my blog. WillContinue reading “Bad Angels”

12 Step Recovery and Manic Depression

I went to a meeting earlier. There was a lot of talk about this and that, as there is at any 12 step recovery group. I won’t say which 12 step recovery group as I don’t think it’s all that relevant to what I’m going to say. It’s a new one though, a fellowship IContinue reading “12 Step Recovery and Manic Depression”

Forgiving Mum

One reason that I have not been sitting down to type out my daily confessions here is that I’ve been avoiding the main topic my psyche at present: my mum. My take on forgiveness has always been a bit spiky. I felt/was massively betrayed by my mum in my 20’s. I won’t go into itContinue reading “Forgiving Mum”

My Mother the Comforter

I’m still watching the Walter Presents TV program Rider in the Storm. It’s a pretty intense series. Last night it was very sad, as one of the main characters took his own life. He walked in front of a lorry as he was depressed and psychotic. His death cast a very large shadow over theContinue reading “My Mother the Comforter”

ANGRY WOMAN

Last night I was watching Riders Upon the Storm: Walter Presents, Channel Four (in UK). It’s a spiritual themed drama about a religious family and community set in Sweden. So one of the sons goes off to the Himalayas and ends up in a Buddhist monastery after getting his stuff nicked and falling down aContinue reading “ANGRY WOMAN”

FURTHER THOUGHTS ON HAVING FUN

It was good to write about my comedic experience on Thursday night. To think about the absence of fun in my recovery. But, since I wrote what I wrote, I have realised that actually I have had other experiences of fun in sobriety, not just during David Byrne’s Meltdown back in the day. David Byrne’sContinue reading “FURTHER THOUGHTS ON HAVING FUN”

HAVING FUN

I live next door to a high end venue that holds comedy nights every couple of months or so. This ‘Studio’ also doubles up as an expensive air B & B. At the moment I’m trying to make an effort to connect with things happening in my community, so when I was invited to attendContinue reading “HAVING FUN”

On Being Ignored

Did you know that emotional pain, such as romantic rejection, lights up the same parts of the brain associated with psychical injury (or something like that). So that when we’ve been rejected we feel pain like in a bodily way. When I first heard this it made absolute sense to me. It’s hard to describeContinue reading “On Being Ignored”