What Happened on Thursday? (Part 2)

I’ve handed today’s post over to the resonance of the universe because I’m still ‘on overwhelm’. A subtitle to this post could be: Is this a blog? I’m full of questions at the moment. Another statement that de-overwhelms me is: My name is Ruth, I’m an alcoholic, and I haven’t had a drink today. WhenContinue reading “What Happened on Thursday? (Part 2)”

What Happened On Thursday?

I’ve been really challenged since Thursday. Thursday was my volunteer day at the local mental health drop-in, and (I thought) the anniversary of my mother’s untimely death from AIDS related illness. Actually I got the day wrong, I was somewhat alarmed to realise. The actual anniversary was Wednesday the 6th of October, which meant IContinue reading “What Happened On Thursday?”

Writing is What it is

Could writing be a way of coming to terms with loss? Reflecting on my recent need to conjure a past ‘love’, in this case an actor: ‘M’ who I met through my recovery meetings, a friend of mine — P — happened to read this blog and sent me an email about her thoughts onContinue reading “Writing is What it is”

Remembering Mum

I’ve been focussing my attention on loving memories of my mum the past couple of weeks. Happy memories. I want to honour the good in her. Since I’ve been in therapy (years and years) I’ve had to get real about my childhood, and that brought up a lot of anger. And then, in addition toContinue reading “Remembering Mum”

Forgiving Mum

One reason that I have not been sitting down to type out my daily confessions here is that I’ve been avoiding the main topic my psyche at present: my mum. My take on forgiveness has always been a bit spiky. I felt/was massively betrayed by my mum in my 20’s. I won’t go into itContinue reading “Forgiving Mum”

Serenity Prayer

Serenity Prayer I went to an online 12 step meeting earlier. There were a lot of newcomers, so for me it was a good meeting. I enjoy listening to newcomers talk because I sense an authenticity and lack of polish that people who are later in recovery lose. That said, I try and think aboutContinue reading “Serenity Prayer”

My Mother the Comforter

I’m still watching the Walter Presents TV program Rider in the Storm. It’s a pretty intense series. Last night it was very sad, as one of the main characters took his own life. He walked in front of a lorry as he was depressed and psychotic. His death cast a very large shadow over theContinue reading “My Mother the Comforter”

ANGRY WOMAN

Last night I was watching Riders Upon the Storm: Walter Presents, Channel Four (in UK). It’s a spiritual themed drama about a religious family and community set in Sweden. So one of the sons goes off to the Himalayas and ends up in a Buddhist monastery after getting his stuff nicked and falling down aContinue reading “ANGRY WOMAN”

FURTHER THOUGHTS ON HAVING FUN

It was good to write about my comedic experience on Thursday night. To think about the absence of fun in my recovery. But, since I wrote what I wrote, I have realised that actually I have had other experiences of fun in sobriety, not just during David Byrne’s Meltdown back in the day. David Byrne’sContinue reading “FURTHER THOUGHTS ON HAVING FUN”